Thoughts from Between the Knees

As a means of introduction, I’m the Boyfriend. Many times I wonder how I should reference myself in connection to her – boyfriend, beau, boytoy, business partner, best friend. Reverse the gender references and she is all that to me – and more.

No matter, I always come regardless of what I’m called. Also, I put the toilet seat down, even in the middle of the night. And like every loveable old dog, I know when to get in bed with her and when to leave for my own.

Yes, we sleep in seperate beds more often than the same one, both under the same roof and just at the other end of the hall. Sometimes we trade and she goes to the other bed and I stay in her bed when she can’t wake me up enough for me to realize I’ve been thrown out. Some daybreaks I wake up early and, like every loveable old dog, sneak back into bed beside her as she dozes the last few minutes before the alarm goes off. For the record, she’s only thrown me out of the house once but she called me back – and I came. Another blog, another time for that relationship fable. Back to sleeping in two beds…

I once thought the quality of a relationship was in direct proportion to the total square inches of skin shared in a lifetime between two consenting adults. I’ve come to understand over time with Bella that the quality of a relationship can be measured by how much you care that your partner – husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, beau and belle – gets a good night’s sleep.

I have something akin to Restless Leg Syndrome – at least that’s the best educated guess I’ve gotten out of a doctor so far. I’ve tried every drug. I actually almost flopped off the operating table during my colonoscopy while on Propofol – as in what they say led to Micheal Jackson’s Big Sleep. The arm and leg flopping with incessant scratching doesn’t keep me awake, but what I do sure makes sleeping hard for her. So I leave the bed when asked or shoved. Hey, I get it. Many nights when I feel the first twitch, I leave without being asked. And she gets it too, the reason I have to go and the reason I hate to leave.

I kinda’ like sneaking back into bed beside her. Or waking up with her trying to fit on a little twin bed with me. I think it lets each other know we care about where we sleep for a lifetime, not just a night.

If someone sleeping, or trying to sleep next to you keeps you awake, or if you (and you know who you are) are a Sleep Thief, talk about it with each other. Better yet, try the separate bed thing and then talk about it when you’ve both had a good night’s rest. You’d be surprised at the benefits that come from it.

How long has it been since you slipped back into bed at daylight with no reason to feel guilty about where you have been?

* Kris Kristofferson, “Nobody Wins“